Summer hasn't been kind, which is usually the case for me. I tend to overwork during the holidays. My golden hours are those spent at the end of June/beginning of July and those last summer weeks of September. After the first week of January until the last week of August I experience what can only be described as 'mental breakdown' season.
It's happened to me now for three summers in a row but the last two were unbearable. I get really exhausted and mentally unstable. Then I get really sick and that's when reality hits me and I take a break. It's always the same pattern. I'm always working really hard or doing nothing at all.
I quit my summer job over a week ago. The gradual realisation that I was going to be set free from the confines of a terrible workplace led me into delusional ecstasy. I started going out everyday and drinking a lot until I crashed and burned. Then I got sick again. I've been falling ill quite often, this last year. I got seasonal allergies and every time the weather slightly changes I develop a cough and a cold and heavy breathing. The weather got cold and windy in anticipation of a Friday 'storm'. My body reacted to the change.
The funny thing about getting sick is that it can be sometimes counted as a blessing. Although I had to cancel plans with friends and stay indoors for two days, it really helped me get back on track:-
- I've started my 'Little Brown Book'. I love stationery and cannot live without notebooks to organise my life (Fuck iPhone and Blackberry!). In it, I'm detailing my finances on a daily basis. I'm on Day 4 at the moment and it's really helping me keep track of my money. I'm not known to save and my recent no-more-summer-job euphoria led to some unnecessary food and alcohol spending.
- I finished listening to my Gala Darling's Love and Sequins Chapter 5 audio file about 'Finding Happiness' and took down notes to help me get through my final degree year and the dreary task that is my thesis. Gala Darling is an amazing woman who is very well-read and organised, who gives advice on life, love, fashion, travel, finance and so many other things. In fact, one of her articles inspired the title of my thesis. She has an audio script collection which she calls her book. Every month, she posts a new chapter on her site. You can buy them individually or as a set. She has two more chapters to go if I'm not mistaken. They are truly lovely. I bought another two chapters to do with business and manifesting the life you want to achieve. You may think it is a waste of money but is a good read, includes quotes and sources, provides examples and even gives tasks to put the words to practice. This woman has really changed my life.
- As soon as I recovered a little I took my little brother out for his birthday. I love my brother so much. He is my 'rock' and I don't think he even realises how important he is to me. He turned 16 yesterday and I took him out to the capital city of Valletta. I bought him two pairs of shoes which he really wanted and then bought us lunch at this cool restaurant called 'Luciano's' in Merchant Street. When we were young, we used to hold many family events here with cousins, aunties and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers! We hadn't been there for a long time but as soon as we entered the memories came flooding in. We sat by a wall full of vintage soft drink bottles and an old guitar. The place is full of old memorabilia of times gone by. The walls are made out of old Maltese stone and the interior is rustic, cosy and inviting. I was surprised when my brother started mentioning particular memories of his childhood that I had indeed forgotten myself. That kind of nostalgia is comforting when you share it with someone who was there with you when it happened. On the way home, the rain started to fall which was fun. But when we got home we were exhausted. I stayed in that Friday night watching 'Desperate Housewives' and listening to the rain fall and feeling happy.
- I work with a student media organisation called 'Insite'. I think you've heard this one a gazillion times! hehe. Well, those two days indoors got me all pumped up to catch up with some work that I had been holding back. I felt so amazingly productive right after. I almost finished four proposals and I have a few articles and proposals to write but finishing something you kept procrastinating over feels awesome. Now I just need to do the same with my thesis! This week I was talking to a friend of mine and told him I think the reason why I'm so obsessed with organising myself is because I have a very bad habit of procrastination which I have fine-tuned to perfection from a young age. In response, he told me something which really stuck with me: ' You know, they say it takes six weeks to develop a habit. Why don't you set your goals, pick at least one to focus on for six weeks and don't falter on it for not even a day!' It makes sense. If you practice something for a long time it becomes habitual like smoking or learning to drive. I have taken this advice and am actively focusing on achieving it. No more procrastination! God help me.
- I wrote my daily GOALS routine which I hope become habit by the end of the year. This is how they go: Wake up at 6:00 every day and walk/jog for at least 30 minutes and then end up at the beach for a 7:00 dip! (at least until winter starts), Sleep by 23:00 everyday (I've developed a bad case of insomnia the last month and I need to fight it!), DON'T PROCRASTINATE, Create positivity and hope for family and friends, Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, Practise your driving skills at least three times a week, Do at least 2 hours of university work a day, Drink 3 litres of water a day, Don't obsess over everything, Save money!
- I went for my driving theory test and passed. Now I start my first driving lesson on Monday (tomorrow). The day I was sick in bed was the only chance I had to study for it.
And so comes the end of my week and the start of something new, I hope. At the moment I'm just blogging and listening to music but I got inspired and baked my brother a cake and hope to host a little party as soon as all the family is home. I'll get back to partying on Tuesday and am hoping to entice my friends to do something random like go swimming right after a night clubbing and have a breakfast picnic at sunrise on the sand. If there's one thing I learned from Gala Darling is that you should try and do something truly random and magical as often as you can because even though routine is a good thing that increases your productivity, too much of it can wear you down!
And if you follow the advice in the following music video then that won't hurt either:-
But always remember, know your limitations and be aware of the areas were you can improve. Most of all, be aware of the areas were you excel! Adjust your pace of life accordingly through the highs and lows. Always know your goals as they keep you alive no matter how far-fetched they may be. And start a blog. It's fun! :)
I hope that you all have a lovely Sunday.